Divorce:
“I miss my son.”
Hey Terra,
I am a mother of a 15 (almost 16) year old son. After 22 years of marriage and operating several businesses together, I wanted out of the marriage. It was a difficult thing for our family. We agreed to 7 days with me and 7 days with him for the visitation. However, my son feels sorry for his dad because I wanted out of the marriage. I did not leave because of another man but my ex has convinced my son that was the case. He is a very manipulative and controlling type of person. My son is not coming to me on my 7 days. Is there a good way to remedy this? My son says he loves me, but wants to live with his dad. His dad is not supervising him at all and I'm afraid of what path he may take. He is a good student, involved in athletics and church and I want to keep it that way. I'm really concerned about this.HELP!!
I miss my son!
Dear I miss my son,
My heart goes out to you. And I have to admit, I share your anger and frustration with your ex. It's absolutely unconscionable for him to have lied and turned your son against you. Manipulative, controlling and vindictive!
I have no idea if you and your ex's "agreement" of shared custody is legally binding, but your concerns for your son's well-being are valid and the best suggestion I can offer is that you get legal counsel. As for your son believing a damaging untruth about why you left the marriage, my suggestion is that you get some family counseling (perhaps through your church). I'm sure it would be very helpful for you and your son to sit down with a neutral party in a therapeutic setting, and work at rebuilding the bond between you.
I wish you well.
In friendship,
Annie
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