Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Cheating/Betrayal:
“Even though he cheated I still love him.”
Hey Terra,
I'm 13 years old and I'm not one of these girl who fall in love the first day but this last guy I was with I really did love him. I was going to have sex with him and everything then he cheated on me but, I didn't break up with him. Then he did it again and my friends broke up with him for me. Now I still like him but I don't think that he likes me. But I want to tell him in a letter how much he hurt me. And also that he had something good with me and that he needs to realize it. I don't know what to do.Lost without Him
Dear Lost without Him,
That guy didn't respect you. He didn't care about your feelings. He only cared about sex. That's why he cheated. So he could have sex with someone. He probably hurt the other girl's feelings too!
Why did you let him get away with that? Do you think it's okay for a guy to cheat on you? Are you confused about the fact that your boyfriend ought to treat you with respect and be true to you?
If you had had sex with him, how would you feel about that decision now...? Would you be glad that you had had sex with him even though you aren't together any more? Or are you feeling glad that you didn't have sex with him?
And let's talk about sex for a 13 year old. Why do you think that's a good idea? I think you are very confused about relationships and when it's appropriate for 13 year olds to get physical with each other. You need to get unconfused about this very quickly otherwise you will have sex with some other immature kid who will hurt you.
I don't think you should write to this boy and try to get him to come back. The worst thing that could happen is that he DOES come back (just long enough to convince you that having sex with him is a good idea). But it's NOT. Because 13 year olds don't understand that in order for sex to be a good thing, you need two people who are mature enough to really love and trust each other. When you don't have that, sex is bad and leaves the girl feeling like she's been used.
I'm sure you don't want to feel used, do you?
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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