Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Abusive relationships:
“My boyfriend hit me across the face.”
Hey Terra,
I have a serious problem. I have a boyfriend who is 18 and I've been with him for more than a year. But the thing is he has been insulting me lately and wanting to touch me and I don't like that. I tell him to stop but he doesn't so he keeps saying that I'm a whore and a slut because I won't let him touch me. And he says I'm probably getting touched by other guys in my school and that isn't true.Today he was screaming at me in the car and when we got home he hit me across the face. I told my mom and my brother but they told me to not worry. I'm already tired of the things he's doing and yesterday he didn't go home until 1 am because he was out shopping and after that he went to school to help a teacher. I don't think that's true but every time I tell him that he's lying he raises his voice at me.
He's really a sweet guy but he has his days.
I really don't know what to do. Please help me!!!!!
Scared
Dear Scared,
Your boyfriend hit you and your mom and your brother told you to "not worry"???!!!
You should be VERY worried.
You are absolutely right when you say you have a "serious problem."
Your bf is abusive. There is no excuse for the way he treats you. His behavior will not get better, it will only get worse and that's putting you in danger.
You deserve to be treated with love and respect not with screaming, name-calling, unwanted 'touches' and physical violence. Your boyfriend is dangerous and you need to end this relationship before you are seriously injured. You know this relationship is unhealthy and that's why you wrote to me. But you don't have to do this alone. There is help for you.
Here are your choices:
- Talk to the school counselor immediately. Tell him/her what you told me.
- Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) (That's the Domestic Violence Helpline. The call is free and it won't appear on anyone's phone bill.)
- Call NINELINE Hotline 1-800-999-9999 (any problem, any time)
Before you even think about your next boyfriend, get the help you need to get out of this abusive relationship you're in.
Are you ready to do that?
Take the first step today -- talk to your counselor and/or call one of the phone numbers I've given you.
I care about you and I'm very worried.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.