Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

I want to make the change from being in the popular mean girl group to the nice people. The nice people have accepted me but I've seen a few friends from the popular group and I realize it's going to be hard to tell them I want to leave! I have best friends in the non-populars, but I'm starting to freak out because what if when I get back to school I'll see them and be like "I should be with them!" Today at orientation two of the girls were in the corners gossiping and half of me wanted to join them but I pulled away! What should I do??

Nice Bitch

Dear Nice Bitch,

Whenever you're having trouble deciding what to do, it's a good idea to look at your options and weigh the PROS and CONS. This exercise can help you compare the benefits of being with the "nice" people vs. the "popular mean girl group."

After you're finished, take a look at the two lists. Decide what makes more sense to you.

A word of caution: If you decide to move away from the "mean" girls towards the nice ones there might be some fall-out. Worst case, the mean girls may try to turn others against you. I'm not suggesting that you ought to freak out and worry about this now. That would be foolish and a waste of your energy. Just be aware of that as a possibility. If it happens, know that you have the ability to deal with it in a mature and peaceful way. On a positive note, it's possible that some or all of the "mean" girls will be inspired by your choice and realize that they don't want to be thought of as "mean" any more because it's not really who they are! It would be a pretty cool thing if by being true to yourself you motivated others to do the same.

By the way, there's no such thing as a "Nice Bitch." Either the "real" you is a nice girl... Or you're not. Can't have it both ways. Ask: How do I see myself? How do I want others to see me?

In friendship,

Terra